Checklist: Finding a therapist that’s right for you
Finding a therapist can feel overwhelming. Use the checklist below to take those initial steps in getting started. If you have questions you’d like to discuss one-on-one, feel free to reach out for consultation.
PRACTICAL questions to ask yourself:
Do you have a preference for in-person vs. online therapy?
Do you have a preference on office location?
Do you have availability limitations (day or the week/time of day)?
Are there insurance options (in-network or out-of-network) you can consider?
What is your budget (for co-pay or out-of-pocket pay)?
It is important to consider a budget for weekly therapy, generally most therapists will recommend starting with weekly sessions. This is not a money grab, this is really a way to ensure the time in session is valuable. Having regular sessions is key to building a foundation with your therapist.
PERSONAL questions to ask yourself:
Are there things you’d want to avoid or seek out based on past experiences in therapy?
Based on knowing yourself and your reasons for seeking therapy, are you drawn to working with a therapist of a specific gender? Do other preferences come to mind?
Would you be comfortable working with someone who doesn’t meet your specific ideal preferences?
CONSULTATION question to consider asking a potential therapist during a phone consult or in a first session:
Examples of questions you can ask a prospective therapist:
“What does a typical session look like?”
“I’m new to therapy, can you describe what I can expect working with you in therapy?”
“Based on how I’ve described my issues, is there a certain type of therapy you’d recommend for me?”
“I have goals around [insert your goals], is that something you work with?”
“Do you feel like we’d be a good fit to work together?”
REFLECTIVE questions to ask yourself:
There are a few things to consider when evaluating if someone is the “right” therapist for you. Logan Ury, a behavioral analyst and dating coach, recommends her “Post-Date-8” questionnaire that has 8 questions about how you feel after a first date. This feeling-state evaluation is a pivot from focusing on materialistic qualities about someone, this shift is meant to help you assess how you feel in this person’s presence. A similar feeling-state evaluation can be applied to deciding if a therapist is right for you.
Here are some questions to ask yourself after a phone consult, first session, or after a few sessions with a new therapist, you can consider this the “Post-Session-6”:
Are you comfortable speaking freely with this person?
How does your body feel in session? For example: stiff, relaxed, something in between? (This one is taken verbatim from Ury’s list)
Do you feel understood by the therapist?
Do the therapist’s comments in-session resonate for you?
Do you feel like you can be yourself in front of them?
How do you feel before/during/after you speak to the therapist?*
*For this last one it is tough because for most people going to therapy can dig up difficult feelings. That’s why we are there, to explore what is difficult and face what is hard. Just going to a session can be anxiety-inducing for someone, but this doesn’t necessarily mean it's a bad therapist-client match. If you are nervous going into a session or depressed after a session, I would ask yourself, “Am I comfortable to tell the therapist this information?” Being honest about how you feel is vital to the work you are doing – it is okay if you are anxious or nervous, but do you feel comfortable telling the therapist this information?